"I slapped Ouiser Boudreaux"

 Hello cool cats and kittens... 

Not gonna lie... I am not feeling blogging today. I have been putting it off as long as possible, but consistency is key and I must. So here I am. As I say with every week, it's been a week. We had baseball and more baseball, cleaning, laundering, and SUNSHINE! Sunday was one of my better days this past week; I read a whole book between Saturday and Sunday, took in some sun, was able to actually cook a delicious dinner for the family, laundry, etc. I almost feel guilty on nights when we have to eat take out or a quick butter noodle dinner because we are so busy; it feels nice to be able to provide something for them that isn't deep friend or made by someone else. The boys enjoyed the trampoline most of the day, with the hose sprinkler attachment on. I hate to see the water bill, but they have a blast doing it. Kudos to Pap for rigging that up for them. 

I also feel like I am at a point in my life that I am really evaluating myself, my mental state and my happiness. I am going to be 41 years old and while one of my love languages is acts of service, I have found that I absolutely give too much of myself and I hold back some. I am a loud person by nature, but I hold a lot in for fear of hurting others or of being judged. But why? Why do I hold back for others peace of mind? For others to have a better day? Is it the customer service in me? The people pleaser? May all of them... but I know it's exhausting. That was of being doesn't mesh well with these day and age. I don't plan to be mean, ever, because you can get so much further in life being kind than being nasty. But there obviously comes a time in life when you have to put yourself higher within your own ranks. Low man on the totem poll only results in exhaustion, feelings of resentment and lashing out at others. I just hope that I can carry this mindset with me on the days when I feel low, bitter and rough. 

I am still in limbo with Youngstown State, which is getting very unnerving. I realized in talking with an Advisor that I have been technically taking 4 classes per semester, 2 at a time in 8 week increments. Crash courses of 15 weeks of worth compressed. No wonder I am so burnt out! Lol. I was hoping to continue to carry through the summer to obtain my degree that much faster but I am slowly starting to look forward to not have classes this summer. I have a meeting with an Advisor this week so we will see what unfolds from there. Associate's versus Bachelor's? Majors changing? I have no idea. It's all confusing and a lot. So, Jesus take the wheel!

This week's post tribute goes to... drum roll... which is actually ironic because they played lead snare in the High School Band... my MAMA!!!!! My mom, my lady, my first bestie. The receiver of all of my drama, my lashing out when I hold it all in, my sarcasm and my frustration. She is a chasm of all of my emotions, and still loves me regardless. She's one of the first people I call to tell good news to, she is always down for a game night and loves her grandkids to the ends of the earth. Girlfriend had it ROUGH growing up; it definitely built walls around her. But what she wouldn't do for the people she loves. My cousins and I joke that she can be a stone-cold assassin in stressful situations, not letting it faze her at all. She will tell it like it is, even when you don't want to hear it, but she always only wants what it best for you. ShariMom to one generation, Grandma Shari to the others, but to us, she is Mom. The provider of the Diet Coke BOTTLES (Kenny...) snacks, Sprite and all the junk the grandkids could want. She has finally met her match in Greg and has found herself in a relationship that she has always deserved. She is gold, will crack the WORST Dad jokes, crack herself up and then laugh at herself some more. And if you can get her mutley laughing, you know you've cracked her. She answers the phone after 8:00p in the dark of her room, with one eye closed because she has been in bed for an hour, at least. You can find her at the ball field, cheering on her grandkids in all they do, and even watching some kids that aren't hers biologically! The maker of the BEST sweet tea, and always making big batches of food and dividing it between me and Kenny and our family. She is the best of the best of the best. I would not be who I am today without learning determination, grit, hard work, and cook a mean meal if it weren't for her. She taught us to speak up for the little person because we have all been in that spot before. Speak up for what you believe in. Trust in the good in the world and be kind. Hug people and make them feel like you are just SO happy to see them. She is the reason we are here, the reason we have overcome so much, and the reason we are still hanging in. My only regret for her is that she took too much shit that she didn't deserve, she didn't know her worth sooner, and that we didn't get the boys to call her Ouiser (Weezer) like Aunt Jojo tried so hard to do (Steel Magnolias, if you know, you know). Everyone is always welcome with her, unless you did us wrong, then she don't like you anymore. lol. She taught us to clean "like she cleans" and can remove ANY stain on our laundry. The Queen, she is. We are nothing if it weren't for her. She even taught us how to deal with pee on the seat... 

We LOVE you Mom!!!! Here's to you, the week before Mother's Day. Thank you for everything you are, everything you do and will continue to do. Now get that damn hump drained or something before we start poking it like the mole on Austin Powers 2.... mooooollllleeeee. Love you. 🩷