Super Nintendo = Mom and Dad Time!

The countdown is on, and next week when I blog, I will be blogging from HHI, SC. I have already started packing and have told the boys that they need to start as well. I can't wait to get away, let my hair down, relax and not have to worry about a schedule or being anywhere for a few days. It's summertime at work, and it is either full of work to do, or downtime. I will never complain about the downtime; it helps me plan my days, or week ahead and take care of the mundane things that need done. 

I get to go for a pedicure today!! WooHoo! It's been a LOOONNNG time! Lol. Our week is packed with All-Star baseball practices, with a tournament starting Friday for Boop and Sheamus. (Magnus will be the bat boy extraordinaire). Once it is over, or each boy loses their last games, we will hit the road for vacation. This will be Boop's last little league All-Star tournament. He will be on a new team and age group next year; they don't really have All-Stars. Our middle boy is growing up. It makes me sad and proud all the same. 

I have started another class, finishing the last two on 7/31 with a B in one class and an A in the other. THIS class is going to be a doozy... I am so grateful that I am only taking this one, alone with no other classes. It is a Business Ethics class mixed in with Business Law. "Legal and Social Responsibilities of Business". Ya'll.... It is SO MUCH. A legit attorney teaches the class, and he goes on and on and on. We have to read chapters, as well as watch lecture videos of him and follow along, taking notes. I took my first test this morning, based off of all of those things, with it being open note, open book and no time limit, and I got a 76%. I am so bummed. I hate that I even got a B in the last class, even though it was a high B. And now, a C on this test! Ugh!!!!! It's so frustrating.  I am not a law person, nor do I find it interesting at all, so this will prove to be a challenge. I have another test while we are on vacation, so hopefully this isn't how it is going to continue to be. The only thing I can say is that the first assignments and test were over 5 chapters, and the next one will only be over two. I truly hope that this helps and makes it easier to score higher. I felt like a few of them were tricky, and he said that some of them are to get law students used to how the Bar will list questions. Sir... I am not taking any Bar exam, EVER. Please have some mercy on me. I will absolutely ask for extra credit. I do NOT want another B, let alone a C. Ugh... Ryan tells me I am too hard on myself. Maybe I am. 

Which takes me to my thought process/epiphany I had last week. I was thinking about how it is said that "What other people think of you is none of your business". I do care what people think of me, to an extent. I don't lose sleep over people who don't like me, and aside from maybe one or two people, I don't know of anyone who has ever voiced not liking me. I think that is how it should be... Why tell anyone something that might upset them. I know I am not everyone's cup of tea 😏, and that I can be a lot at times. BUT, I feel like I am a good person and a good friend, a good Mom and a good wife. However, I realized that in my life, I do care if people think that I am smart, which is weird, right? I am not sure why I put so much subconscious weight on such a trait, and I didn't realize I cared so much about it until I was told I was smart. I have a brain that can remember a lot of things, 🐘 and when I am interested in things, I dive in. Maybe because I don't "have" anything to show for it is where it comes from. But I was thinking about my old job, and we were sitting around the lunch table on my last day of work. I read aloud the card I had gotten for them, because I wanted them to feel the sentiment behind the thank you and appreciation. I cried, as did others. Then they started sharing things about their time working with me. Keep in mind I was there 17 years and grew up a lot in my time there. I had babies, got married, bought three houses, etc. All of my milestones were during my time there and I was only 22 when I began working there. July 19, 2005. Logan was exactly 8 months old. Flash forward to this lunch, 17 years later, I was told that I was one of the higher scores of the aptitude tests that we had to take during our interview, over Physicians, Medical Assistants, Nurses, etc. I had scored higher than people with degrees. Very prestigious degrees. In my first year, I had thought about going back to school and discussed it with the Owner's (Dr and husband), but they offered me more money to stay, and at the time, that was essential for me and my boy. In that roundtable lunch, I learned that during their ride home from work that evening, he told her that they had to do whatever to keep me there; that I was going to be a great asset for them and that I was smart in ways that I never even knew. WHY DID I CRY SO MUCH? Is it because I doubt myself? Someone could say that I am a bad Mom, and I would laugh because I know that it isn't true, we all do our best with what we have, and my boys are loved and cared for. They could say I am not a good person, and I also know that not to be true. But, if someone were to call me dumb, stupid or idiot, I would take it to heart and believe it over any of the good things. There has to be a reason that I care so much about being seen as smart or intelligent, I just don't know why or where it started. And I think this carries into my parenting as well; I hate hearing the boys call each other these kinds of names. I don't ever want them to think that they are any of these things, even if they struggle with certain subjects. Not every subject is easy for every person, and I never want them to feel bad because they can't grasp it. Just try the best you can and learn from that. 

With that said, the weekend of December 14should prove to be a great one! December 14 is Justin Timberlake concert, and the next day will be my graduation ceremony. I plan to attend (hopefully it isn't too early in the morning) and will be beaming with pride. Should I continue on and further my education after? Should I stop and be content with where I land? We will see what the future holds. But one thing I do know... It holds cleaning pee off the seat for years and years and years… 
Edited: Ryan got the Super Nintendo working. We played for a couple hours, mostly unbothered, just the two of us. It was nice. 🩷